Lost and Found...

What is it about something be lost, and then something being found?

I pop into this blog sometimes, written by a man that owns a used bookstore. He thought it would be a great idea to post the bookmarks, letters, notes, dried flowers, etc that he discovers among the books that are donated to his store. You wouldn't imagine it being anything more than people's trash, but it is actually a very cool thing to see what he has found each time, and to imagine the stories behind each one.

I realized a similar discovery of my own this week. I started this online writer's workshop a few days ago--in part to help me with my memoir I am writing--more to make sure I am on the right track than anything else. As I was writing one chapter of my story recently, I realized some more historical facts were needed to make the characters deeper and more defined. I went to Ancestry.com and they were having a two week trial period for free! I signed up and went about looking for information on my biological family.

At first I kept getting these long lists of "Hays" people and none of them matched my mother, so I tried the "De Mont" side. I couldn't believe it--instantly, there was my uncle Bob! It not only showed his approximate birth date but it listed my Aunt Joann and her maiden name, the ages they were (approx) when they got married, and the registrar's document of the marriage record where they got married!

This fueled me to continue my search, even though it was midnight, and even though I could not find my own parents marriage certificate (I don't think they were ever legally married), but I did find both parents social security numbers, their dates of birth (which I already knew) and the dates of death (which I did not know for sure). I jotted down some of the info, put some more of it in the website shoebox, and went to sleep very pleased, but not sure why.

The next evening I went on a bit earlier and began my search again. This time, I found all my Uncle Bob's children, except for one (he had several). Then, I began to enter every name of a relative I knew, on both sides of my family. I was on there for what seemed like forever, when I stumbled across a long list of "De Mont's" I hadn't seen before. I clicked on one that looked like another listing of my mother: Anna Sue De Mont (Anna Sue Hays) born 1948.

When it opened up to reveal the rest of the information listed I was stunned. It said:

Female born Aug 7, 1965, Los Angeles County, and mothers maiden name, Hays. It was... me!

Don't know why but it never occurred to me to search myself; after all, I KNOW when and where I was born! With my heart beating faster, I knew I was on to something so I went back to the main listing and clicked on the next box with my mother's name and this time it was my brother, Sean. Each of my siblings one by one was revealed as I went down the list--and then I was blown away--another child, a male, born March 16, 1970, was listed between my brother, Tim, and my sister, Cassia!

I always knew we had another sibling, and I always knew his place on the totem pole. What none of us knew was his birth date. He was given up at birth and nobody could remember the day he was born. The year had to be 1970 or 1971, and we knew he was delivered in Santa Barbara County, but that was where the deduction ended. Others in my family say they have looked, and I am sure they gave it a good effort, but to no avail. That night, without trying to, I simply stumbled upon it. I couldn't believe it!

You know, I don't really need to know him (We always knew of our brother as Travis Kent because my mother said that is what she would have named him), but there is something very exciting about uncovering a piece of the puzzle. My siblings are curious to meet him, and are intending to execute a more detailed search for our brother, but for me, I am contented just knowing when and where he came into the world. I will never forget how stunned I was to see those numbers pop out at me like that--I read it over and over.

I am writing this book of my childhood, a book of memories of the life I had with my biological parents, for my brother, Jason. I wondered that night, when I found our brother Travis was in fact born on March 16, 1970, if Jason feels that same sense of fascinating discovery-- as he reads each new part of the story I send along to him. We never lived together, he and I, and we are twelve years apart, but it is uncanny how similar our experiences with our parents were. Each of us has our own particular moments, but the feel of those moments is very much alike. At the very least, I imagine he experiences confirmation that his memories, so similar to mine were real--as I felt when the story of a baby brother named, Travis Kent, became an reality for me late one night last week.

I am still not sure why "discovery" is so interesting to me, to Jason, or even to the guy that who owns the bookstore. Maybe it's about the connections between what was once lost, and what is now found. It completes a circle so to speak, a conclusion of sorts, and our brains love closure of any kind. We take comfort in the answers. Yes, I think it is about the connections. After all, isn't that what everything is about?