HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

I'm not big on this holiday but the kids enjoy dressing up, and the candy is always a very fun reward, so once again we got them dressed up and Daddy and Grandpa walked them around the neighborhood. I stayed home this year and handed out

a bucket of chocolates to some very adorable ghosts, princesses, and many star wars

characters. Niko was a very scary Joker this year (we didn't let him see the movie but he saw the costume and thought it was cool) and Lauren was a 1/2 Black-1/2 White very cute witch (chosen mostly because of the cute black/white leggings that came with it!). Quieter than most of the Halloweens in the past, but the kids had a grand time and that is good enough for us! Happy Halloween!

Q'ute Quote...

Lauren lost a tooth--again!  Truthfully, in one two-week

period over the summer, she lost three teeth!  This time

it was only one, but I just figured that was because she

didn't have any baby teeth left!

So, as tradition dictates , we got ready for bed, and I said, 

"Did you put your tooth under your pillow for the Tooth Fairy?"

"No, I put it in my sock and left it on my desk there."  "You put

it in your SOCK? Why?"  "Well, I was afraid it would get lost in

my bed and the tooth fairy wouldn't be able to find it."  I thought 

about this, and smiled and said, "Hmm...I'm not sure Aiden's uncle 

will think to look in your sock, and if he does, I doubt he will want

to stick his hand in a sock you've been wearing all day."  Then, very

confidantly she said, "Oh no, Mom, Aiden's uncle is the Easter Bunny,

not the tooth fairy."  Completely caught off guard, I looked up from 

taking the tooth out of her sock and laughed, "The Easter Bunny?"

Then I hear Niko chime in from his room, "It's true Mom!  Aiden saw 

him so he knows."  I smiled again, suddenly remembering this revelation

they had told me a few years back more clearly now.  I thought about it, 

then I very carefully pushed the tooth back in the sock.  "Well, in that case, 

we'll leave it right here, and I'm sure whoever the true tooth fairy really is 

will surely find it, and he will be very grateful that you took the time to 

leave it so easy for him to find!  Stinky sock or not, I'm sure he will leave 

you a reward".  Whether it was Aiden's uncle or someone else, I don't 

think it really mattered in the end.   The important thing was, the next 

morning Daddy and I were greeted by a this big, beautiful, satisfied 

toothless grin, and it made our day!  

My Red Room...

Today was one of those rare days where the house was

clean, homework and special projects are finished and

handed in, we left work at work, and we are all individually

doing the relaxing things we love.  Juan and Niko are filling 

their tummies with their favorite meal at their favorite restaurant,

Lauren is upstairs dancing to her new Jonas Bros CD (I had

gotten it months ago and forgot about it until today), and I

am in my favorite place in our home, my red room.  Four years ago,

when we moved in, I had it painted a deep burgundy, hung romantic 

french country curtains on all seven, bright and airy windows, and 

created a very girly, all me, haven.  

This is my hugs and kisses room.  I have filled it with my son's 2 inch

Spider-man that he put up on the top shelf "to watch over and protect me", 

and the sweet note my daughter wrote me on exactly on 10-16-06, 

"I Love Love you mommy Love Lauren".  From Juan, is a Valentines Day

card that he gave me 25 years ago (!) and I still love. On my windowsill is a Christmas

ornament from my good friend, Laurie, that reminds me every single day, "The best things in your life are right in front of you", and next to my computer is a book of Poems about Calvary's love from another good friend of mine, Diana.   I have my Bible, my mother's Bible, my grandmother's Bible and now my children's Bible all in a row, generation after generation of love, as it should be.  Books from friends, thoughtful enough to pass along something they knew I would enjoy, along with cherished photos of loved ones both here and gone, fill the four walls of this 8 x 10 retreat of mine, and I wouldn't trade it for the world.  

My attachment to all things sentimental is starting to work against me though.  Along with all the above-mentioned treasures , "stuff" has been piling up in this room for months now.  I kept moving these bins of  things I just can't say goodbye to, from room to room, along with the promise to myself that one day I would go through them.  Then, finally today, I said,

"no more".

I found myself on the floor going through piles of paper that consisted of everything from last years' school work (what to keep, what to toss) to my scripts I kept from my days working in television on "Cheers".   I realized right then, in the future it is the creative endeavors my kids undertake that I will save and all the quizzes, spelling tests, etc will not be saved.  Oh, and in the scripts, right in the middle of the pile, I found my Cheers yearbook!  I picked it up and as I flipped through the pages, I was brought back to a time filled with great moments, from a time almost forgotten.  I was in my 20's, all things were possible, and I had a grand time living for the moment and following my dreams.  The friendships I made were likened to those many make in Fraternities--friendships for a lifetime.   What I do now with my days is just as vital to me, but this reminded me I was once just Renee, and that wasn't a bad thing.

After hours of sifting through things, I found letters from loved ones since passed on,  and another letter written by my brother, Sean, who wrote our grandparents when he was only 10 years old. We were living in foster homes at the time and I know he would want me to send this to him.   I found an envelope from my aunt addressed to, "Beloved Nee" and a letter my mom had written to all of us kids shortly before she died.  All deeply meaningful.  But I must say one thing I had not expected; as I was winding things down in this red room of mine, and piles were disappearing, I noticed a stack of cards to my left, and I began to go through them.  One by one, card after card, from friend after friend, I read words of love, support, and kindness.  Some were sent for a special occasion, some just because.  It may have been the song on the radio, or even the compilation of hours going down memory lane, but I found myself with tears in my eyes.   How did I get to be part of this wonderful circle of love?  How did I get so blessed to have each and every one of you in my life?  As I look around my now clean and orderly red room, I realize that this reality of mine has come true only by God's grace, and my wish tonight for each of you is, may you each  be blessed with a red room, a room filled with hugs and kisses, all of your own.       

MUSIC TO MY EARS...

I watched a great movie this weekend, "August Rush". If you haven't seen it, you should. Juan and I both really enjoyed it and someday my kids will too. It is about this boy who hears the music all around us, and how we are all connected through the thread of sounds. It was brilliantly scored, the way they entwined all the different kinds of music into one. I was completly taken in, and it led me to thinking....

Something has been off in our home for a few months now. I couldn't pin it down until recently,
and then, a few days ago, I knew. The kids were at the kitchen counter working on their homework
and I noticed how quiet it was. Quiet is good (especially during homework) but this was too quiet.
And then I knew. The music, it was missing. I walked over and pushed the power button to the stereo
and just loud enough to make it out, came the sounds of soft jazz. It was a song we all recognized instantly and Niko smiled and said, "Oh cool, soft jazz." (and then like a DJ) " 94.7!" " We haven't heard this since the 3rd grade, mom. I'm glad you turned it back on." I knew he meant it and he was right. Summer came, homework went, and so did the sounds of the saxophone and clarinet. We always listened to this station during homework. Why then, when 4th grade started did we not notice this part of the routine was missing? The absence of sound wasn't noticed until the silence was screaming at us.

We all love music in our family. For Juan, it is the sounds of the 80's. For me, it is the 70's, although
I love mostly all music and I wanted our kids to not necessarily love all of it, but at least recognize the differences and respect them. I started them off early by changing the CD's in the car out every so often for new ones with everything from Tony Bennett to Barney. By the time they were two we were knee deep in Barney's "I love you" songs, when I noticed one day as I strolled them through the mall, that Niko was rocking back and forth in his stroller. I looked around, saw nothing but then I heard it, there was a song playing on the overhead and Niko was rocking in perfect rhythm. He could HEAR the music before anyone eles. When he was three, he asked for a drum set he saw at Target. We are convinced this was God because nobody had even shown him what he could do with drums. By the age of six, he was playing like he was a rock star! He was developing his own taste as well. I had Garth Brooks on in the car and we were about the fourth song into the CD when Niko said out of the mouths of babes, "Mommy, um, I don't know why but, when we listen to this kind of music, it makes me feel stupid." I cracked up and said, "Well, that's okay. What you need to do is write your own songs and fill the radio with something that makes you and me, and everyone else, feel smart!" "I can do that?" "Yes! You CAN do that!" (and he does!)

Lauren's love for music is true but she doesn't like the discipline of it all. She blew her teacher away last year with an entire booklet of songs she had written herself for the piano. But ask her to sit down and nail a piece for a recital and she will resist like a cat to a bath. She CAN nail it, but only when she feels inspired to--which is crazy-making for her teacher (and her mother!). But, I must say, I love hearing her tinker around with her keyboard when she is truly lost in the moment. Her real love though is singing. She can hear any song once and know the lyrics forver after that. She sang with our cities children's choir and was filled with happiness. She sings while she's putting the dishes away, and then solos in the school musical while those around us are moved to tears--all with humble joy. Then yesterday, someone asked what she would like for her birthday. She smiled and said, "Music. Always music."

So where did all the sound go in our home over the past few months? Well, Niko's drum teacher went off to Japan on tour for the summer, and when he came back we kinda procrastinated this time on getting him a spot again on Freddie's roster--then realized we couldn't work out a time that worked for all of us. Lauren
dropped piano after a few years because she decided she wanted to study guitar this year. Then, the teacher we had planned on, in the end, couldn't take on any new students right now. So, no tickling of the ivorys
while I am making dinner, and no base drum and top hat sounds to listen to while I empty the
dryer, and I can FEEL the void, and that is not okay.

Being the problem solver I am, I must find this thread, this golden lyrical thread, that binds this family of mine and begin weaving us, once again, a song. The jazz will go on again during homework, we will find new music teachers for drums and guitar, I need to ask Daddy to share his Ipod downloads with us this weekend (he has some really cool songs on there), and I think I will put my Patsy Cline CD in the car and introduce the kids to an old country great (maybe Niko will come around after all!). Oh--and the tryouts list came home today for the new Christmas musical, and Lauren is already giddy about auditions! But most of all, I need to remember the words of August Rush, "The music is out there, EVERYWHERE. We just have to listen..."

INDIAN DAY!

Our 4th graders jumped right into learning all

about our state of California. They dressed up

like the native inhabitants of this area, the Indians,

and participated all day long in Indian culture!

First, they each got to think up Indian names for themselves. Niko chose, "Fierce Hawk", and Lauren chose, "Moonlight on Dancing Waters". Then, they made bead necklaces, tee-pees, indian

fried bread with cinnamon sugar, and cornbread!

Both kids said, "Those were some of the best things

I've ever tasted in my life!"